It’s four o’clock in the morning and he’s gone and fell in love with a voice.
On the list of all the things he could be doing right now that would have even the most remotely positive outcome on his tomorrow, there was only one thing: Sleep. He needed it badly. He could probably count on his fingers the sum total of hours he’d slept in the past 5 days. And yet here he was, despite a growing feeling that his whole body was shutting down his organs one at a time in the hopes that it could cause him to fall down on the floor and possibly get some sleep, making plans for a future with someone he’d never meet.
He had been trying to find some reason to stay up even later, like he does every night. He knew that he needed to get to bed, and he knew that crawling into that warm, soft enfoldment would be a comfort and relaxation that he couldn’t even imagine. Yet, he also knew that it would be bringing tomorrow even closer. The second he went to sleep, he was giving up on today and surrendering what time he had to facing the waking nightmare that was his workday. So he acted in defiance; he rejected tomorrow’s encroaching upon his remainder of today. He would make today last as long as he could by staying awake even later. And he would use that time in the only way he really knew how. He would utterly waste it on the internet.
He’d been staring at a Reddit comment thread that he knew he should find interesting, but couldn’t bring himself to actually read for at least five minutes. He was considering switching back to Facebook for the eighth or maybe fiftieth time tonight, when a thought struck him. There was something useful he could be spending this time doing; he could check on how he was doing with his budget! But first, he would have to make one, and also learn how to make one.
mint.com into his browser’s location bar and excitedly jammed the Enter key with his pointer finger. An exceptional amount of nothing happened. His internet was out. This was a calamity. He tried the many things he’d picked up over the years to try to remedy the issue of broken internets. He unplugged his modem and plugged it back in. He stomped around his living room cursing. He stared at the blinking lights on his modem until his eyes glazed over. He played the dinosaur game on Google Chrome’s “There is no Internet connection” page for twenty-five minutes. None of it worked.
He wasn’t ready to admit defeat and succumb to tomorrow just yet. He picked up his phone and called the contact for his internet provider. They would have to help him. He navigated through the maze of menus asking about language preferences and routing him to different departments. They were his last hope. He listened to the most generic music he had ever heard in his life play on a thirty second loop. Without them, he would be ruined and have to go to bed. That was unacceptable, it was unconscionable, it was–
“Hi there, thanks for holding, what can I do to help you tonight?”
He didn’t stand a chance. His true love was here for him at last.